How to Deal With Losing a Friend

Steps

1. Take time to mourn over your loss. This is a big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.

2. Find a new hobby, activity or regular social event. Don't sit around and sob incessantly. Do something proactive and lively to distract your mind and soul. Quit moping and resume your path in life. Go shopping, treat yourself to an ice cream at your local restaurant, or go and play a sport. Take up a hobby or set yourself a challenge, such as a 5000 piece jigsaw or beating the computer at a game of chess.

3. Join a club. You will meet lots of new people and get heaps of new friends instantly.

4. Find a new friend. There is always someone new. Talk to people around school, college, work or your neighborhood. Talk to people that you have never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be nice and friendly, but don't be overly friendly the first time you approach them. Just go up and say "Hi" or something, and try to act casually. If you start talking to each other, don't act too eager to be friends too quickly. Just be yourself and stay casual. And take it calmly and slowly - simply because you have lost one friend doesn't mean you should rush out and find another replacement. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and good tending.

5. Avoid spending time thinking of ways to make your former friend jealous. This will only make you look sad and desperate and it only ever rebounds on yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse your sorrowful side but they are a pure waste of energy and dig a deeper level of sadness and inaction for you. See step 1 again if you find yourself falling into this trap.

6. Keep a casual relationship with your former friend. When you see your former friend around, don't be sour or nasty. If he or she talks to you, don't ignore your former friend. Just say hi back and if you still don't want to have a long conversation, be polite and just excuse yourself. Having an appointment or a homework assignment to complete are good enough excuses.

7. Don't spread rumours about the person, or talk about them to everyone. Nobody will want to be your friend if they discover that you talk about people behind their backs.

8. Smile! Find things to smile about. Do something for someone, raise money for charity by doing a sponsored run, do things that make you happy again. Realize that you don't need this person to make you happy, and it is not the end of the world now that they have gone. It is one of life's lessons and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what happened for you to learn from.

9. Get on with your life. This is the most important lesson. Don't stop going out with other friends, or take it out on them. Carry on as if everything is normal, and it will feel normal. Soon you will forget all about this person, or at least, be able to think of them without bitterness or sadness.

10. Remember that with every ending, there is a new beginning. That means, there's time to get your life going in the direction you want. Pamper yourself and hang out with new interesting people.

Tips

1. Don't let this friend know that you are upset because then he/she might think he/she has won. Or, your former friend may simply be irritated to think you still harbor a desire for friendship with them and may be provoked into spreading malicious gossip about you.

2. If you are nice to everyone, everyone will want to be your friend!

Don't let this person think that you are letting yourself go because you two aren't friends anymore. This is immature and self-destructive behavior that only impacts you and your future prospects for other friendships. People do not turn around and rescue wallowers, so try not to hold on to such a fantasy.

3. Stay strong! If what this person did was bad, don't accept them back as a friend. If he or she begs or promises to be a good friend, stay firm unless you think this person has really changed or you feel it would be wrong not to. Don't be weak, you will just look and be treated like a doormat!

4. If it really will, then make friends with them again. If the fight was silly and you feel it was, it is possible they are too. Start out by apologizing a few days after the fight and then leave them alone. Do not retaliate. If they say no, you will know you did everything you could.

10 Petanda Si Dia Tak Serius Denganmu

1. Setiap kali si dia menjawab panggilan dari kamu pasti dia akan merengus dan berkata, "Huh, apa hal? Kalau tak penting sangat tak payah la call!".

2. Dia akui mempunyai tabiat buruk iaitu cepat lupa dengan perkara remeh. Contohnya, nama kamu. Teruk betul.

3. Apabila bertemu, si dia akan bertanya khabar namun belum pun sempat kamu nak menjawab soalannya, dia dah sumbat telinganya dengan earphone iPod.

4. Kalian memesan makanan dan si dia mengingatkan kamu untuk bayar bil di restoran segera secara berasingan.

5. Jarang benar si dia menghubungi kamu. Harapkan SMS sajalah. Itupun selepas setengah malam - kalau dia ingat.

6. Si dia selalu mengacah nak menduakan kamu dengan teman karibmu yang cantik bagaikan seorang model itu.

7. Si dia memutuskan hubungan sebaik sahaja kamu berdua menyambut hari lahirmu atau hari kekasih. Malah, siap pesan denganmu supaya jangan bersedih pula.

8. Setiap kali diajak keluar, pelbagai alasan diberikan oleh si dia. Antaranya, dia terpaksa bekerja hingga lewat malam.

9. Si dia terlampau mengagumi dan mengetahui secara mendalam latar belakang jurulatih gimnya yang juga seorang lelaki. Patutlah excited sangat pergi gym setiap hari.

10. Mukanya berubah masam jika terserempak dengan kamu. Kadang² boleh menyorok pula kalau kamu tak perasan kelibatnya.

Talk Therapy

Nothing hurts more than discovering you're being talked about behind your back - especially if what's being said is untrue, malicious, or damaging to your reputation. A certain amount of harmless gossip is simply human nature - and we've all been on both ends of it. But what about when idle chat turns nasty? Spreading rumours, divulging secrets, and violating other's privacy certainly crosses the line and perpetuates a vicious cycle. Since gossip is usually at its apex in high school or college, pick up some pointers on how to deal with it. Top tip? The less you engage in trash-talking others, the less they'll talk about you. Words to live by.

Over-sharing Personal Details Again?

Often find yourself confessing personal issues? That's a good thing, but only to a certain point. Women often over-share to try to connect with others or for some attention. If you feel regret later, you may be telling too much. Ask yourself if you really want this person to know what you're about to say and what she'd say about you to others. Imagine bumping into her a little later - if she was indeed the right confidante, you won't cringe.