Dear Shopaholic

Before adding to your wardrobe, evaluate what's in it. Many women have wardrobes filled with items that were 'too much of a good deal to pass by' that still have tags attached. Add those to the 'if I lose 10lbs I'll fit into that' and you have an overflowing wardrobe! A good rule of thumb is, if you haven't worn it for one year, it shouldn't be in your closet. Items in good condition can be taken to consignment stores or auctioned online with Ebay. While you may not get back what you paid out, it's something and will give you a bit of fun money to shop with soon.

Set a monthly or yearly clothing budget...and stick to it.

If you have friends, family or work colleagues with similar clothing sizes, tastes and/or budgets, why not arrange a clothing swap party? Each guest can bring with them a few items of clothing that they can exchange with other guests. Not only will this trade enhance your wardrobe, it will allow you the chance to mix with friends you may not see very often.

Before buying an item of clothing, do your research! Don't just head to the mall with your credit card and buy, buy, buy. Look the item up on the internet to see how much it's being sold for. Many online retailers, catalogue companies and outlets sell items at a reduced rate. Not only will you save money this way, you'll avoid the lines at the checkout too!

Just before you head to the checkout with any purchase, ask yourself 'Is this necessary?' If you can't say yes, then you're best placing the item back on the rack.

Keep your lifestyle in mind when you're purchasing clothes. Most people wear only 25% of their wardrobe regularly. If on a day-to-day basis you dress in jeans and a t-shirt, there seems little point in having 20 dresses in your closet.

Don't go overboard. Rather than buy a brand new set of clothes each season or year, try to update the items you have already. Add accessories such as jewellery, handbags, scarves and hats to keep your look up to date.

Go 'au naturel'. Natural fibers are always in fashion and they last longer too! Investing in linen and wool items is always a good idea.

Does the item pass the comfort test? Buy clothes because of how they fit, not because of the size on the label. If they aren't comfortable, pass them by. Purchasing them will only mean you've wasted your cash.

Keep it basic and flattering. Purchasing classic styles that flatter your figure is more important than following a (possibly unflattering) trend. Trends come and go, but classics should make up your staple wardrobe. To keep your look updated, use accessories to keep up-to-date with trends.

Keep coordinated. Ensure any new items of clothing you buy will work with items you already have in your wardrobe. I tend to stick to a small palette of colours to keep it simple.

Washing instructions aren't just to be read on laundry day. Before buying an item, find out how it's cleaned. Do your best to avoid dry clean only items as these will be more expensive to clean.

Thrift shops, consignment stores, flea markets, garage sales and online auctions are loaded with great clothing finds - at great prices. If your budget is tight but you prefer designer labels, you might find yourself a bargain and a fun day of treasure hunting.

Wholesalers are also worth considering if you have friends also interested in saving money. Items such as childrens clothing, underwear, socks and scarves are good purchases to make in this way. Your cost per item is reduced by buying in bulk.

How to Deal With Losing a Friend

Steps

1. Take time to mourn over your loss. This is a big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.

2. Find a new hobby, activity or regular social event. Don't sit around and sob incessantly. Do something proactive and lively to distract your mind and soul. Quit moping and resume your path in life. Go shopping, treat yourself to an ice cream at your local restaurant, or go and play a sport. Take up a hobby or set yourself a challenge, such as a 5000 piece jigsaw or beating the computer at a game of chess.

3. Join a club. You will meet lots of new people and get heaps of new friends instantly.

4. Find a new friend. There is always someone new. Talk to people around school, college, work or your neighborhood. Talk to people that you have never really talked to before and you may be pleasantly surprised. Be nice and friendly, but don't be overly friendly the first time you approach them. Just go up and say "Hi" or something, and try to act casually. If you start talking to each other, don't act too eager to be friends too quickly. Just be yourself and stay casual. And take it calmly and slowly - simply because you have lost one friend doesn't mean you should rush out and find another replacement. Friendship develops over time and needs careful choices and good tending.

5. Avoid spending time thinking of ways to make your former friend jealous. This will only make you look sad and desperate and it only ever rebounds on yourself. Revenge fantasies might amuse your sorrowful side but they are a pure waste of energy and dig a deeper level of sadness and inaction for you. See step 1 again if you find yourself falling into this trap.

6. Keep a casual relationship with your former friend. When you see your former friend around, don't be sour or nasty. If he or she talks to you, don't ignore your former friend. Just say hi back and if you still don't want to have a long conversation, be polite and just excuse yourself. Having an appointment or a homework assignment to complete are good enough excuses.

7. Don't spread rumours about the person, or talk about them to everyone. Nobody will want to be your friend if they discover that you talk about people behind their backs.

8. Smile! Find things to smile about. Do something for someone, raise money for charity by doing a sponsored run, do things that make you happy again. Realize that you don't need this person to make you happy, and it is not the end of the world now that they have gone. It is one of life's lessons and there should be a kernel of wisdom in what happened for you to learn from.

9. Get on with your life. This is the most important lesson. Don't stop going out with other friends, or take it out on them. Carry on as if everything is normal, and it will feel normal. Soon you will forget all about this person, or at least, be able to think of them without bitterness or sadness.

10. Remember that with every ending, there is a new beginning. That means, there's time to get your life going in the direction you want. Pamper yourself and hang out with new interesting people.

Tips

1. Don't let this friend know that you are upset because then he/she might think he/she has won. Or, your former friend may simply be irritated to think you still harbor a desire for friendship with them and may be provoked into spreading malicious gossip about you.

2. If you are nice to everyone, everyone will want to be your friend!

Don't let this person think that you are letting yourself go because you two aren't friends anymore. This is immature and self-destructive behavior that only impacts you and your future prospects for other friendships. People do not turn around and rescue wallowers, so try not to hold on to such a fantasy.

3. Stay strong! If what this person did was bad, don't accept them back as a friend. If he or she begs or promises to be a good friend, stay firm unless you think this person has really changed or you feel it would be wrong not to. Don't be weak, you will just look and be treated like a doormat!

4. If it really will, then make friends with them again. If the fight was silly and you feel it was, it is possible they are too. Start out by apologizing a few days after the fight and then leave them alone. Do not retaliate. If they say no, you will know you did everything you could.